My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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