nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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