The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
