Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
