I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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