If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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