My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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