Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
