Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
