My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ok first of all what the fuck
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
