the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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