All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
