Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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