Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
