why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
