I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
