So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
