Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
