That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
