Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
