paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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