doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
