today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
