that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
