so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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