The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
