Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
