he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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