just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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