After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
