THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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