You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
