I love black thongs
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
