if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
