Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't think brook has ever known best
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
