Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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