Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
