Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
