you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
