I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
