I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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