He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
