I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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