what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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