Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
