walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
