Got a toothbrush?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
