Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
