Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
