I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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